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maryisstupid

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Dec. 14th, 2009 | 11:04 pm
posted by: montycrowley in maryisstupid

alysha: I'll hava a Bristol Cream
audrey: I'll have a Dry Sack
waiter: *stares, doubletakes, stares* a dry... sack?
audrey: *points defensively at sherry menu*
waiter: *stares*
alysha: they're... sherries... on the menu.
waiter: oh... *drops menus* yes, yes they are.

*alysha and audrey put cream in their sherries*
alysha: there are textures in my mouth.
audrey: if the waiter hears you say that he'll have to lie down for a while. he seems like a very sensitive man.
alysha: we could totally tag-team that waiter.
audrey: we probably should...

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Lucky Obamas

Oct. 14th, 2009 | 12:21 am
posted by: afreequark in maryisstupid

Audrey: Have you ever noticed when you're really tired, your feet smell like steak?
Daniel: Your feet don't smell like steak.
Audrey: Yes they do, they smell like… They don't smell like anything…

Kyle: This hamburger is so good! I would polygamy-marry this hamburger, just to watch Emily eat it.

Daniel: BTW, WTF WRT the Nobel?
Audrey: um
Audrey: as far as I can make out it was something like "Hey Obama!"
"'Sup?"
"Catch!"
"Whut"
"LOL sucka"
Daniel: I think it was actually something like "Oh boy, what are we going to do about this prize? There's a 75 year backlog, as evidenced by the fact that Newton only got one last year, but it's Sweeps week. Who's this one down to? Some monk who spent 150 years saving children from giant spiders, ruling the fertile crescent as a philosopher-king, and campaigning for women's rights, OR a president who was elected 6 months ago, and to date has... been elected? I think we know which one to choose."
Sorry, but that was just ridiculous.
Audrey: ... giant spiders?
Daniel: I'm pretty sure they had candidates like that. Obama, great to be or otherwise, has had no time to do anything but promise.
Audrey: Yes but his name was spat out of the Goblet of Fire!
Daniel: But everyone knows he's not 15 yet!
Daniel: Sorry, 17.
Audrey: It doesn't matter, rules and logic and basic human decency don't apply if the Goblet of Fire says so.
We've learned this lesson before!
Daniel: Okay, but this only means he'll have to fight Cheney in the graveyard...
I wish I could stop eating Lucky Charms...

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maryisstupid

(no subject)

Jul. 21st, 2009 | 12:05 am
posted by: madampresident in maryisstupid

Nikki: We could be dead right now!
Coco: It wouldn't have killed us.
Nikki: ...we could be injured right now!
Coco: I'm writing that down.
Nikki: No! If you can remember it later you can write it on the quote page but you can't write it down right now.

Coco puts money in Nikki's pocket to go in on popcorn at the movies.
Nikki: You're always throwing money at me.
Coco: And yet you still haven't removed any clothing.

Coco puts a couple dollars down Nikki's shirt
Nikki: We're in public!
Coco: I think it would be creepier if I did in private.

[about sharing iPod earbuds]
Coco: We're so close and you keep pulling it out! ...don't say it.
Nikki: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! ...I had to.

[about sand in Coco's hair]
Coco: It's just... in there... and it bugs me.
Nikki: That's not what she said.

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maryisstupid

(no subject)

Jul. 1st, 2009 | 12:20 pm
posted by: madampresident in maryisstupid

Dad: Get rid of those freckles!
Coco: Can we bleach them?
Dad: With battery acid?

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STF epicness

Jun. 30th, 2009 | 11:56 pm
mood: giggly giggly
posted by: luvbledrollgeek in maryisstupid

Noah: Fellow students of...Fossilology...

Dave: Brenard here from Mathnet.com.net.com

Herman: The damn Commies have taken the last piece of every puzzle, but don't worry, we're going to bomb them.

BP: Soon all the bugs will be sucked thoroughly and completely

Sarah: Now I'm afraid. Before I was just be facetious about not being afraid.

Herman: It's still coming!

Noah: Great beef is like a grat boat.

Michelle: Most of my knowledge comes from the CSI's...including Miami. *Takes off invisible Horatio glasses and looks around meaningfully*

Michelle: You just have to show up when they're in their element, but then they're like hey, you're not my element, and then they're like I did it!

Dave: I have a wenis jerk!
Audience member: It's a funny bone!

Herman: Many rattlesnakes are long and thick down south.

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maryisstupid

(no subject)

Jun. 22nd, 2009 | 08:58 pm
posted by: madampresident in maryisstupid

[ Kevin Bacon drowning in the River Wild ]
Coco: BTDub, dancing's not going to save you now!

Nikki: I knew you were coming, I heard the noise but I was still surprised!
Alyssa: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Nikki: Good job leaving your child in the street.
Coco: That's satanic ritual abuse waiting to happen.

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maryisstupid

(no subject)

Jun. 21st, 2009 | 08:42 pm
posted by: madampresident in maryisstupid

Coco: If you die can I have your purse? *playful sarcasm because I know that Mary adores the purse*
Mary: No! I'm getting buried with this purse. But you can have [my car].
Coco: Sweet, I'll take it.

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ahhh...high school

Jun. 18th, 2009 | 09:18 pm
posted by: luvbledrollgeek in maryisstupid

*fire drill goes off*
Mr. Smart: Hold on!
Everyone: Hold on?!?!
*drop dry ice into boiling water*


*on the board* Shakespear was a tree.
Mr B: What's wrong with that statement?
Dale: You spelled Shakespeare wrong.
Mr B: yeah ...but...
Josh: OH! Shakespeare wasn't a tree.


Mr Herman: They sold that to you?
Dave: Actually no, I confiscated it. I named it Emmanuel.

Garman: The climax is the high point and then it's all down hill
Tracy (me!): Then you're not doing it right.

Garman: oh, my pants are buzzing

Robby: That's it. We're making them a llama. I'll get the legos.

Mary: I'llgo put on my jesus suit and teach her a lesson.
Colleen: You can be jesus and I'll be jewish
mary: we can go door to door trick or treating!
colleen: and get shot for blasphemy!
Mary: It'd be worth it.

Garman: *in santa suit* Ho Ho Ho....oh crap.

Herman: Greeks went down, what rose?
Emily: Romans.
Herman: andwhat rose with romans?
Tracy: Cesar.
Herman:....what rose with Cesar?
Tracy: Salad.

Tracy: He ran over a crippled kid!
Emily: That's good entertainment.

Garman: *in russian accent* In Russia, the homeless are delicious, they taste like vodka.

Colleen: I like your shirt.
Josh: My grandma gave it to me. She has dimentia.

Garman: It would racist to a very sensitive person..... I'm thinking Oprah.

Nikki: It's cute.
Tracy: I don't like it.
Nikki: I don't either.

Herman: Always.......usually always.......a strong sometimes.

Tracy: *complaining*
Herman: oh waaa!
Tracy: Don't waaaa at me.
Herman: Fine. Baaaah. you are now a sheep.

audrey: look! a Zebrass! It's a cross between a male zebra and female ass.
Colleen: What if it's a male ass and a female zebra?
audrey: then it'd be a assbra, obiviously.

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(no subject)

Jun. 18th, 2009 | 08:13 pm
posted by: luvbledrollgeek in maryisstupid

(talking about whether Gillian Anderson's eye is in the X-Files credits)

Nikki: I really want to know! I't's going to bother me until I know the truth.
Coco: *laughs*
Nikki: The truth is out there!
Coco: You're lucky I love you.

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maryisstupid

(no subject)

Jun. 18th, 2009 | 05:21 pm
posted by: madampresident in maryisstupid

Nikki: Can we listen to side one?
Coco: *pulls out a record* Um... this has side 2 and side 3... Is there another record?
Nikki: *pulls another one out* this has side 1.
Coco: ...is the other side side 4?
Nikki: ...yes...
Coco: ...that's stupid...

Nikki: *stomach growls* *to her stomach* shut up! I'm not hungry!

Nikki: Now I have to go back.
Coco: You could just refresh it.
Nikki: I don't want to refresh. It makes too much sense.

Coco: I haven't seen Devil Wears Prada in a while, I'm afraid I'm ooc.
Nikki: We could watch it.
Coco: I don't actually like it.
Nikki: ...why do you write fic for it?!
Coco: I like the characters...

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